Social Media Confident

Posted an update on Facebook yesterday that sparked a discussion and made me feel a little inadequate when I couldn't stand by my opinion. It wasn't that I was swayed on that opinion, but that the discussion was in danger of becoming perhaps a little heated. I didn't blame my friends because they were quite right to defend their own opinions but confrontation has always been something I've walked away from. The people I talk to on Facebook are people I respect, admire and consider friends, even though some of those friends I have yet to meet in person. It didn't matter that I was the one who had made the statement because those who voiced their views were perfectly entitled to do so on anyone's status update. And hereby I want to thank the very lovely Livi for adding to the discussion eloquently and with honesty.

This got me to thinking how easy it is to spark a debate on social media. So often we have something to say and often hover over the keyboard, wondering whether saying our piece is really the right thing to do. There are so many people out there who jump on anyone with an opinion, simply because they love to disagree and can't let anyone else have the last word. I'm not a 'last word' person, couldn't care less if I don't have the last word because if I make a statement on social media, I make it because I believe in what I say. This doesn't mean I haven't been swayed though; I have often published a blog post or a tweet or a Facebook update only to back down and see a totally different side, thus telling myself I was wrong. There is nothing wrong with admitting that you're wrong. But when you strongly believe you're right, I see no harm in making a statement on social media. So long as you can confidently stand by what you say. Maybe one day, I will.

Broadband and BT. Don't. Just...don't.

Having issues with BT Broadband again. It's like a never ending episode of hassle. The connection drops, reboots, drops, reboots, goes slow and then I ring the helpline and speak to a nice person who seems helpful and knowledgeable. They have me running around from room to room like a lunatic, disconnecting, reconnecting, disconnecting, reconnecting cables and sockets, unscrewing boxes, reconnecting wires; they get you to do this first because they are too lazy to help and because if you don't do these checks, they will send out an engineer and charge you £210.00 + VAT for the first hour while the engineer checks the connection, then a further £100.00 + VAT for every hour thereafter. I decided to try and help myself, not to mention my bank balance, and spent nearly 2 hours fannying about with cables and wires and sockets and screwdrivers and routers. I have to wait 72 hours - till Friday morning to be precise - before they will have reset the connection and hopefully helped stabilise it. There's no guarantee this will happen though.

So I am left with no Internet connection on my desktop computer because it doesn't have wireless, though I can use my iPad and BlackBerry. If BT got their act together, we customers wouldn't have cause to write ranty blog posts like these nor would we be thinking about making an official complaint at their continuous poor service to people who live in the countryside, even though they are still expected to pay more for the 'privilege' of Broadband. As soon as this is sorted out I am going to look into changing our service provider and am currently looking at Sky Broadband. I think I could include their bundle in with my Sky TV package though I need to look into this with precision. We don't have fibre optic cables in this area so are very limited as to who we can use. When The Farmer shook his head and made a point of saying "don't know why you need the Internet..." you can imagine I wasn't best pleased and nearly shoved the router up his arse.

Bundles of Fun

The puppies are nearly four weeks old and are now like little dogs. Each one has developed its own character, all very cute and very mischievous! Here are some photos for you to coo over...

After half an hour's play on the garden...zonked!

As you can see, I'm not at all attached to them...

'Gem' - the only one with bits of brown on her

Kip - the only boy of the litter

Mist - the shy one

'Squeak' - the greedy one

Is This Really Fair?

I don't know at this stage whether it's a mistake but I have a feeling it isn't. Last week I rang Amy's school and asked for a holiday request form of which I filled in, asking for three days leave in October. I thought I'd give them plenty of notice because frankly, I didn't think they'd refuse. Amy's attendance record is excellent; she's hardly had any time off this school year, just a day or two for bad weather conditions (is that our fault?) and maybe one or two days for sickness (is that Amy's fault?) but I am very, very strict when it comes to taking time out of school and make sure I have only ever asked for three days maximum through the whole of the school year. We go away to Scotland in October just before the fishing season finishes and we go at that time of year for one very important reason; as farmers, it's impossible to take family holidays during school holiday time because there is always work to be done. The middle weekend in October really is the only time my husband can get away, and so we have always asked for a few days leave to take a long weekend away as a family. I have never booked a holiday and paid for it, expecting the school to say yes so that isn't an issue. I do provisionally book the dates well in advance because the hotel we always stay at gets quite busy at that time of year mainly with fishermen and women grabbing their last opportunity to catch a salmon on the beautiful River Tay. And once the leave has been authorised I confirm the dates with the hotel.

On Friday of last week I got the slip back from school, signed by the Headteacher, indicating that Amy's absence was not authorised. I read it over and over again, thinking I'd read it wrong. But I hadn't. And then I started thinking, 'they must have made a mistake.' I have never, ever asked for more than three days off throughout the school year in all the years Amy has been at school; first school, middle school and now special school. Gobsmacked was an understatement.

I do know that the government are, from September 2013, clamping down on leave during term time and I fully appreciate this. Some parents take advantage and expect to take their kids out of school for two and three weeks at a time, mainly because they can't afford to take them on holiday during school holiday time. But I have asked for just three days. They know our circumstances, they know we are farmers and they were very happy to authorise leave last year and the year before, so I can only assume they are saying no because of the new government guidelines. But what gets me is why bother sending a holiday form in the first place when they're only going to say no? And secondly, why bother putting a paragraph on the bottom of said holiday form that clearly states "Under the Education Regulations 2006 headteachers are able to grant up to ten school days authorised absence for the purpose of a family holiday during term time." It just doesn't make sense to me. I'm not stupid in that I don't think schools have a right to refuse - of course they do, but come on, Amy's attendance record is, like I said, excellent, she's doing exceptionally well at school and is a popular student. The staff, I feel, are amazing and I respect them totally. I'm really hoping that they've made a mistake and I shall only be able to find out for sure when I ring them next Monday. And if they haven't made a mistake, I shall be making an appointment to go and see the headteacher because I find this absolutely ludicrous.

UPDATE: A phone call with the school has confirmed this wasn't a mistake and all leave is now unauthorised unless the circumstances are "exceptional". However, they won't be issuing fines (unless people take weeks at a time) and have said 'go and enjoy your holiday.' It's Ofsted rules (surprise, surprise) and schools have no choice but to adhere. Just glad it's all sorted and I don't need to worry about it anymore. Thanks for all your comments and suggestions. 

Puppy Treat

I made two videos yesterday of the puppies; published one on my Facebook page and here's the other. Too cute for words!

Attacked for being an Attention Seeker

Over the last few years I've been involved with several groups on Facebook, some I've enjoyed, some I haven't, some I've found really useful and some where I've made online friends. I've left quite a lot of groups recently for various reasons, the main one being I have been unable to contribute to them due to time limits as well as having nothing to say, but on the whole, I'm enjoying my Facebook account more now since I've limited my time spent on groups. However, I have been a member of a fabulous group since July last year; it's full of friendly, helpful people, set up by the holiday resort staff of the place I'm going to in August. We discuss everything from what's on the wine list to how cold the pools are. People post photos on there of their room and the resort, giving those who haven't been before an idea of what we can expect. It's a five star resort and looks pretty spectacular and I am really excited about our forthcoming visit.

But unfortunately, amid the lovely, helpful, friendly members of the group, there will always be some who can't resist jumping in with their size 10's, upsetting the apple cart, causing offence and making themselves look like complete dicks. All the questions we ask on the page are really for each other's benefit, and they are innocent questions that many of us just need a quick answer to. I haven't been abroad since 2006 and even though I'm thoroughly looking forward to our holiday, a part of me is nervous about the travelling aspect (I don't like airports or flying) and I'm therefore getting as much information as I can, simply to make the journey and our two-week stay as stress-free as possible. Bearing in mind I'll be travelling with Amy, just the two of us, I imagine she'll be looking after me, but there you go! So, there I was, clicking on the group page in order to ask my innocent question this morning, a question that I genuinely needed an answer to. I got several lovely replies, helpful as always, putting my mind at rest - we've got to know each other a little over the months and I've already mentioned my daughter has a disability as some other members have disabled kids also. A few of us have even arranged to introduce ourselves as there will be some of us there at the same time. But like I said, there are always some who will spoil a good atmosphere, unnecessarily causing offence and trying to make another person look stupid. This is what happened:-

My question: To save me taking too much sun tan cream/oil, do they sell it in the shop? And if so, is it more/less expensive than here, and also, do they sell after-sun lotion? And one more, does anyone take towels or am I right in reading we don't need to take them? Thanks x

One of the replies: What stupid questions people ask on this fucking website!!!!!!! You would think you have never been abroad before!!! Really...you are going to a Thomson's resort where it is hot and stopping in a 5 star hotel and people are asking the weirdest questions about towels and sun cream, if they didn't provide those services they need closing down for Fuck sake!!!! I know people are excited about going away but please .. less of the ridiculous questions for attention.

What a nice man! My first thought was, "Wow, how angry can one person be?" Then I got angry myself and thought, "How dare he speak to me like that, who the hell does he think he is?" A couple of lovely people responded to him in my defence, but as yet I haven't written a reply, simply because I'm gobsmacked someone can be so nasty! I'm hoping admin will eventually remove this vile man from the group as up to now I've found the group to be extremely forthcoming, calm and pleasant. What a shame someone had to spoil it. So, I need your help: What would you say in response to this angry man, if anything? I'm not saying I'm going to respond as I do try to walk away from confrontation, but right now I'm pretty damn angry myself!

Update: After a lovely lady pointed out to me that she was concerned this episode would put me off posting on the page anymore, I made my polite response brief, saying it hadn't put me off. You can see this full response in the comments section.. However, the 'troll', for that is obviously what he is, replied sarcastically with "I apologise immensely for my ghastly behaviour this morning. Get over it. Weirdo's." Fortunately, this vile excuse for a man has now left the group. 

Surreal Moment

I had the most amazing experience yesterday, one that left me incredibly overwhelmed and with an inane grin on my face for the rest of the day. I spoke to my cousin for the first time. Ann moved to Adelaide in the 1960's when she was a young girl, with my Uncle Roy and Auntie Marion. I obviously didn't know her back then as I was born in 1969 but my mum can remember the day they departed the UK for good as though it were yesterday. She can even recollect Ann's beautiful face as she looked through the window of the train carriage as it pulled out of the station. I have six cousins in Australia, two whom I've met in person when they came over in the late 70's for a visit, and whom I remember very well, but the other four I've never met face to face. I managed to find Ann and her brother Peter on Facebook and am now in touch with them, though I feel particularly close to Ann. She's one of those people who you warm to immediately and I knew, from the minute we made contact, that we'd become not only close cousins but close friends, too.

Talking to her yesterday on Skype, watching her face light up and her eyes twinkle with delight was one of the best feelings I've had for a long time; knowing I'm in touch with one of my Australian cousins and now feel confident to Skype or just have a chat online, by phone or whatever, has made me a very happy woman. Ann has a big family of her own as do my other Australian cousins so it's pretty stupendous to think I have this huge family living half way around the world who all share the same genes. Getting to know Ann has opened my eyes to all these relations I have and makes me realise just how precious we are in this life. All our actions have consequences when you think; if my nana and granddad hadn't met, there wouldn't have been my Uncle Roy, therefore there wouldn't have been six cousins in Australia which would in turn mean I wouldn't have made contact with one of the nicest people I've ever had the pleasure to meet; my beautiful cousin, Ann. And what's even more exciting is that Ann and her husband are planning a trip over here in 2016 to celebrate a big birthday for Ann. That gives me just under 3 years to clean the house. Bit of a rush but I'll manage...

CJ x

Puppy News!

We're very proud of our beautiful red and white collie, Sparky. She gave birth to four absolutely gorgeous puppies in the early hours of Saturday morning. You will notice that they're all black and white, like their father. She has only left them to go outside to the toilet and gets very anxious if one of us goes to pick one up. She's a wonderful mummy, just like she was with the first litter she had four years ago. We're keeping our eye on her as she was sick a few times yesterday but this morning she's eaten some dried food and had a good drink and she looks a bit brighter. I guess the stress of puppy-birth can take its toll. I thought she'd have had at least six puppies judging by her size when she was pregnant but maybe that was just 'puppy fat'. One has been reserved already and the other three have been requested though not reserved for definite as yet, but all will be going to working farms. This breed of dog need endless exercise and stimulation and make incredible sheep dogs so each one will be trained to work with livestock.

I'll keep the blog updated with pictures and progress of course. Got a very hectic week ahead of me and am meeting myself coming back right now, but it's all good fun and I thrive better when I have things to do.

CJ x

Apple - More Effort Needed

Last week I had a bit of an issue that needed solving. I was fortunate to catch it before it escalated and became a potential disaster but the final outcome left me with very mixed feelings about the giant corporation known as Apple. There's no denying their products are popular though I'm not a fan of the iPhone and know I'll never own one, but I do own an iPad 2 and saw no harm in allowing Amy to install some games, fashion games to be precise, activities that she found fun and entertaining, and saw me praising Apple for their great variety of different apps. Only there lay the problem; these apps are otherwise known as 'in-apps' which as far as I'm led to believe means you can install them for free but once you start playing on them they start charging you real money to gather items; for example, a new lipstick or a skirt for your model, a piece of shortbread and a glass of juice from the cafe, all very trivial, and all very expensive. Being a technophobe I had no idea that Amy was racking up a bill on the games she was playing, and she was none the wiser either. Her value of money is very limited and even though her maths is exceptional, simple everyday matters go above her head, something we are continuously addressing as part of her education.

Compared to some people I've been let off lightly because I caught it before it got out of control. My measly bill for £20 is petty cash compared to the boy whose father was charged £3,700 for games he played on the iPad. I asked on Facebook and as always got some great advice on how to put passcodes in place and turn on restrictions, though I've also removed my credit card details as well, just to be on the safe side. I was going to leave it and put it down to a lesson learned, but I decided to email Apple anyway, just to tell them about my issue due to the fact there is currently an investigation underway about in-apps and their extortionate and hidden charges. So, I received a response within about twenty minutes, telling me that I received a refund in April last year for something my daughter had downloaded in error therefore they would not make an exception a second time. To be fair, I wasn't asking for a refund and didn't mention this in the email, I was merely pointing out that I had been charged for games assuming they were free. I accepted the assistant's explanation, thanked him for responding quickly, told him I am not technical and that my daughter is disabled and has found the iPad a very entertaining gadget and great source of information. I also said we would not be downloading anymore games onto the iPad in future.

The following day I received another email from the same customer service assistant, only this one wasn't quite so polite. I will give you a taste as to what some of it said: " I know situations like this are upsetting when things don't work out the way they should. Please be assured I will do my best to help you out." I wasn't upset until I received this email! He continued, "I'd asked to see if it was possible to arrange a refund for you, but I'm sorry to say that I was not able to get approval for your request," I didn't ask for a refund, "I've been advised that all purchases in iTunes are a final sale according to our Terms of Service and that we have made multiple exceptions for you in the past," they've made ONE exception, not MULTIPLE, "As a result, arranging a refund is something that we will not be able to facilitate for you." I repeat, I did not ask for refund.

He then went onto say something that probably angered me more than anything, "I wish your daughter will get better soon." I'd told him that my daughter is disabled. "Your patience and understanding in this matter is greatly appreciated. You are a valued member of the Apple family," WTF??, "Your experience with the iTunes Store is of utmost importance to us." And he ended his email with, "Have a wonderful day!"

So I've gone from feeling frustrated at being charged for in-apps that I thought were free (silly me), to smiling and thinking how efficient Apple are in replying to my email within twenty minutes, to banging my head against the desk at their obvious ignorance and lack of understanding at my original email. This is one of the biggest organisations in the world today; their profits are beyond anyone's comprehension and even though I did not at any time ask for a refund of my £20 spent in error (yes, I know, my fault for being a technophobe), they used the fact they had given me a £10 refund in April 2012 as an excuse not to refund that £20. Really, I find it increasingly irritating that these multi-billion pound organisations are getting away with treating "valued members of the Apple family" with such a lukewarm approach.

Serenity

Sat on the bench at the back of the house yesterday, watching the stillness of the countryside, the sheep shuffling from one patch of grass to another, lambs trotting at their heels, the distant roar of Bessie rolling seed into the ground. The clank of the rollers whisked me back to a time I've never forgotten, a time that I remember with nothing but fondness in my heart, ideals in my thoughts and dreams filling my head. Four collie dogs sniffed the earth nearby, nothing on their minds but the smell of sheep and badgers and other creatures that move about the countryside. I stared into the distance before the tears came. My life, all the more richer for the contentment I feel, marked with sadness as I think of the one person who introduced me to such beauty. I asked him, my dad, to sit on the bench with me and drink in the countryside, admire the view and listen to the familiar sounds of life. I told him I missed him and wished he were there beside me, reaching into my tranquil mind, reading my thoughts, understanding my constant grief. If it hadn't been for him bringing me here, I'm not sure I would ever have felt this serene.

Life without him continues. Time could never stand still so neither could we. Learning to exist became easier eventually, though the tears never dried up. The space beside me appeared empty until my mood lifted and Bonnie came over, licking my hand, reminding me I would never be alone. If it hadn't been for my dad, I would never have met my farmer, the man who works every hour God sends, the man who doesn't stop until the job is done, the man who would walk to the moon and back if it meant saving my life. My dad knew what he was doing when he brought me up here. He knew I'd be okay. I share every day with him still, his precious blue eyes never leave my thoughts and his words never leave my heart. Thank you, dad, for bringing me to this place, for introducing me to a new life that you knew I was meant to live. For standing in the King's Hall ten years ago today when The Farmer pledged his love to me, making me his wife, promising you he would always take care of me. You met The Farmer before I did all those years ago. You knew.

Happy Anniversary to my husband, The Farmer

3rd May 2003