Tuesday, 9 October 2007

Is there anybody there?

I sat at my desk, staring at the computer screen. Blank. My mind seemed to resemble the white space in front of me. My fingers rested over the keyboard. Still. Motionless. Paralysed by a paused signal. The crystal rotated, a prism of light circling the walls, bright colours shading my thoughts. I sat back, my arms resting. I could not think of anything to write. Concentration was failing. Reaching to my side, a sudden thought impressed upon me, I realised my mind was needed elsewhere. I had waited for his support, yet had almost given up invoking my astral guide. I wondered if he felt I did not need him, if he wanted me to handle my latest contender by myself. He had always encouraged me to be independent. All my life, I had known his support would always be there should I ever need to call on it, whilst at the same time, making every last attempt to solve life's turmoils alone.

His presence now stood by my side. I could feel his eyes boring into mine, his smile telling me all I needed to know; he was with me; he would always be with me. I smiled back at him, thanking him once again for his love.

******************

In 1992, I made my first visit to a medium. It was in Aylesbury during the four years I lived there with my first husband. Mrs Taylor was in her fifties. She was a kind woman, gentle and softly spoken. My first impression of her 1970's semi was how ordinary it looked. I am not sure what I expected but I felt comfortable as soon as I walked through the glass front door. She took me into a room at the front. There was a round table covered with a lacey table cloth, a few chairs and a side board with a huge mirror tempting me to look into. She asked me to sit down at the table while she "tuned in" to me. I was armed with a tape recorder and a blank cassette, ready to record Mrs Taylor's every word and hopefully that of a visiting spirit.

Mrs Taylor handed me a crystal ball. She told me to hold the crystal in both my hands until she was ready to start the reading, meanwhile she closed her eyes and looked as though she was going to fall asleep. In those days I was still a little sceptical. Having had no experiences of any unexplainable phenomena myself, apart from a vague one when I was ten years old, I did wonder if I would have been better sitting in a caravan on Blackpool prom with an old lady reading my tea leaves. However, I gave her the benefit of the doubt. She had a great reputation and I was eager to delve into the paranormal.

She started the reading off by telling me various pieces of information about my personal life of which confirmed her psychic ability. She told me she could see me walking over a bridge with 2 humps. She also told me, rather worryingly, that she could see two pregnancies, yet one child. She confirmed that my husband to be was indeed a wonderful man, of which I still say is true and she said she could see me changing jobs quite often before finding the one I would settle into.

It was about half an hour into the reading when Mrs Taylor suddenly put her hand gently onto my arm. "Is your grandmother a spirit?" she asked quietly. My eyes welled up with tears. My grandmother had passed just two years since and I thought about her everyday. I talked to her also, never realising then that she had been listening and answering in her way. "Yes," I eventually answered. "She is here with us now," replied Mrs Taylor.

It was at that very moment that the tape recorder stopped. The play and record button which had been pressed were now unused. The tape inside the machine had come to an abrupt halt. I tried desperately to make it work again but it would not. My grandmother's energy had obviously drained the batteries. "Your grandfather has joined us too," Mrs Taylor announced. She then described to me how my grandma was sat in the chair next to me whilst my granddad stood over her, his hand resting on her shoulder. My grandma's hands were relaxed on her knees, one hand over the other. "Your grandmother says she watched you baking yesterday. She says you should have made a better job, your oven is much better than the one she had." Mrs Taylor's words will never leave my head, for the previous day I had been in my kitchen in my flat in Aylesbury, baking little cakes to take into work. I had thought they were passable at the time but would never have compared them to my grandma's. "Your grandfather says you need to get the tap fixed on the bath." Correct. "He also says get that piece of carpet nailed down in your bedroom before you fall over it." Again, correct. Mrs Taylor and I were complete strangers.

Mrs Taylor continued to tell me that my dad needed to see a doctor as he was suffering with pains in his abdomen area. This I could not understand. I had never known my dad to see a doctor and I was quite sure that he would not want to. As my grandma and granddad left, Mrs Taylor felt it was time to wrap up the reading. She complained of a headache, saying she needed to rest. Before she closed the front door after I had said goodbye, she told me one thing I will take to my grave and beyond; "you're gifted." I did not understand this at the time either.

Some months later, my future husband and I went for a day trip to the Cotswolds. We walked over a bridge with 2 humps, without realising until we were on our journey home. I was currently employed with a temping agency and had moved about from job to job each week, however, I had been looking for permanent employment of which came the following year when I got a job at Rothmans International. In early 1993, my dad was admitted to hospital following a doctor's appointment. He had a stomach ulcer. And in 1995, I had a miscarriage. I now have, as you know, one child.

We fixed the bath tap that following weekend and nailed the piece of carpet down in the bedroom. I bought a new oven soon after. Unfortunately, it did not help my culinary skills. When I got home that night, I replaced the batteries in the tape recorder. I listened to the first half hour of my reading and noticed that the sound became quite distorted as Mrs Taylor had kindly asked if my grandmother was a spirit. Then the tape stopped. But the memories will always remain.

43 comments:

  1. wow, crystal. that's fascinating.

    i loved reading it but i do not think i want any connection with the spirit world, myself. too....unsettling.

    don't you find it so? it sounds like you find it comforting. was it ever scary to you?

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  2. I would like to see someone like that. I think it would interesting and fun. But I am always afraid that they will be con artists.

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  3. Im so glad your dad cameo to visit you. Must be very comforting.

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  4. I have to say, Crystal that while I was reading your post I had a very strange sensation/feeling. As you know my brother is missing, and one of the things we tried was to contact him through a medium - and she did; although she thinks he is still alive and will just turn up out of the blue. I also had an experience with a woman who turned up on my doorstep asking to do a reading for money - she was very persuasive and in some sort of trace....she told me many things, which like you, I've remembered - may of the (unlikely)events have come true and she also told me not to worry about my brother as he would be fine (this was before we even realised he was missing)...she also said that I had lots of people watching over me - it's making me cry now, actually. I don't understand it at all, but I do get some comfort from it/them/whatever. I also get a sensation of warmth on my back between my shoulder blades when I think about relatives/people who have passed on...ohhhh, I'm rambling like a mad'un now - but thought I would share this with you! Mootia x

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  5. I've been to see a clairvoyant a couple of times too. One in particular was truly amazing. Of course there will be always be debunkers, but there is no rational explanation for what she told me.

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  6. I agree with Laurie - I don't think I could do it either - id be too spooked.

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  7. I had goosebumps reading this. What an incredible experience.

    I love the idea of being able to see things that way, but the reality of it frightens me. I would love to have a reading done by someone who really has a gift - but I'm also afraid it would scare me.

    I second laurie - do you ever get scared?

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  8. Yes, I'm with Laurie! Interesting how our responses vary - fascinating reading Mootia's comments.

    PS re your comment on my blog...yes, you're right!!

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  9. one word: FASCINATING

    in a lot of ways i'm attracted to the whole 'psychic' or 'clairvoyant' thing, but then i wouldn't want to find out too much, if you know what i mean. i still loved this story.

    i'm w kaycie...and as many as you can see all over the place in parts of california ya get kinda skeptical.

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  10. that was amazing, l was talked into seeing a clairvoyant once, a con l am afraid. l think she was a bit nervy with me! grandma b was very very in tune with the spirits!

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  11. Amazingly I enjoyed this instead of being spooked.

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  12. I am find it amazing. I however dont want to know any future happenings unless they are good :-)

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  13. My normally very sceptical Mum once saw a clairvoyant who told her things that could not have been known.

    I think I would also like to one day...I was told by a girl who sees auras that someone who had recently passed was actually right behind me. Not sure who...possibly a friend who died of breast cancer. I have also often hoped that my grandmother is still with me in spirit.

    Fascinating stuff.

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  14. I have lots of dreams where I am talking with people I am close to that have died. They always feel wonderful to have. I wake up and they seem so real I have to tell myself it was a dream. I have never been to a psychic or anything. I was brought up strict catholic and told never to mess with the spirit world. I have often been tempted to try it though. What an amazing experience you had.

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  15. Laurie - I sometimes get spooked, particularly if I sense unwelcome spirit.

    Kaycie - There are many con artists about, it gives a bad name to the ones who are true.

    Casdok - It is. I did say to you how much it would mean to me.

    Hannah - Rambling is a good way to talk. You know where I am.

    SM - Glad you have had the experience of seeing a psychic.

    Flowerpot - Everyone is different, that is what makes us all so interesting, we all feel differently about this and it is in no way meant to cause you unsettlement.

    RC - The best mediums in the world get scared.

    Chrish - Like I said, everyone is unique. Btw, too much information!!!

    Ciara - I guess the not knowing is also an exciting factor of life, eventhough I like to plan ahead!

    Muddyboots - Sorry your experience was with a con. It's not always the case.

    DJ - So glad I didn't spook you. It's not my job!

    Dgibbs - I professional psychic should never divulge news that will obviously cause heartbreak, i.e. a death.

    Cathy - Do you talk to your Grandmother? You definitely should as I am sure she listens.

    Thank you for all your comments, Crystal xx

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  16. Sorry I'm late reading this. Casadega, Fla., is full of mediums, psychics, astrologers. My mother was taken there by some friends after my dad left her. As she entered the house of one, the psychic shouted at my mother, "There's a dark cloud over your head. Get out!" And indeed that was a bad time for my mother.

    I went to an astrologer when I was quite depressed about my own divorce. She told me good times were coming, that I would meet someone from a foreign country and do a lot of foreign travel, that I would eventually have the house and white picket fence, that I would have children but not before 1994 (I got pregnant in January 1994), that something would happen to my mother healthwise when I was 45 (she visited my sister and suffered congestive heart failure).

    I've also seen other people who told me a load of crap. But I believe there are some who are gifted. I think you are one of them.

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  17. MFB - Dreams are indeed a wonderful way to communicate but I know some are uncomfortable with the complexities in the world of spirit.

    Wakeup - I think you need to do a blog about that one!

    Thank you for your comments, Crystal xx

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  18. I am happy to acknowledge there is something out there bigger than all of us and that some people get great comfort from it which is fine... but me....I think I'd probably laugh nervously or shriek in the wrong place and ruin the atmosphere!

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  19. Snailbeach - I have a really good friend who is just the same.

    Thank you, Crystal xx

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  20. At my parents house at the weekend I was lying in bed, half asleep, half awake when my old cat came suddenly into my mind. He died over ten years ago. Then I felt the bed dip - ever so slightly on the edge - as though the cat was jumping off...is this something? I told my mum and she said that was the room he had died in!

    Also I am sure someone said 'Hello' to me a while back in a friendly way(again I was on my own in bed half asleep half awake)but I told them not to speak to me again for a while as it freaked me out at the time...

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  21. Helen - It is possible you had entered the "Hypnagogic State" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypnagogia) which is that time between being awake and falling asleep. One is prone to hallucinating as thoughts become exaggerated and dreams enter our subconscious. Dreaming, however, is a wonderful way to communicate with our loved ones be they human or animal beings and I wonder myself whether you have been visited by an astral being who is in need of making contact. Usually there is a reason behind a loved one needing to communicate, perhaps unfinished business, a safety warning, even just reassurance that they are watching over you, guiding you through a time of misunderstand or anguish. Welcome them. Don't be afraid. A spirit saying hello is just wanting to be friendly and if indeed your cat has been to visit, it is because he is very much still with you.

    Take care and best wishes, Crystal xx

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  22. Thanks Crystal for taking the time to explain what it might be. I have to say, whatever these experiences are, they no longer freak me out. I was quite peaceful at the thought of the cat visiting!

    x

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  23. I would love to find someone like that around here and have a reading. I was in a book store once, and my niece had a "reading" done, the woman told her mother hears her at night, and wants her to keep talking to her (she did not know my sister had died the year before and I was adopting her), that a male figure in her life could be frightening to her when he was angry (my husband, when angry he yells loud, which he is working on, but if does not improve may cause us to separate. Not physical, just temper tantrums like a 2 year old), also many other things that were very true. She taped it. When finished, she asked to see me, and told my my niece had "the gift" and I should encourage it. I am still not sure exactly how I would do that or even what she meant specifically, because she had to do another reading. Anway, that day has stayed with me.
    I love your story. I was very close to my grandmother, and it would bring me such comfort to know she was watching over me. It must be like that for you.

    Thank you for sharing this. It gave me a lot to reflect on this morning.

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  24. Just read your reply to Laurie - is that what happened coming out of the cellar?

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  25. I have also gone to a few different people, mediums etc most of which I have paid money as I find it fascinating. Funnily I am going to do a post on my father which involves a spiritualist, a girl I came across at a friends house, who only speaks to those who need to be spoken to, if that makes sense. She was no con artist. My friends sister is also psychic, she has explained greatly what she experiences, she gets thoughts that come to the front of her mind, usually upon meeting someone and she has to try and work out what it means, but she has now realised it doesn't always make sense to her but it does to the other person. Usually it can be something like 'fish & chips' this verifys the person she has a further message for as they had 'fish & chips' for dinner. She attends the spiritulist church and they help her learn and deal with her 'gift' as she has only started dealing with it in the last 6 or 7 years. Amazing.

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  26. Great story. I am sometimes sceptical about this sort of stuff but I do believe there is something out there.

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  27. @themill - I don't think there is anything unfriendly in that cellar, however, I do believe there is a grounded spirit that needs to be listened to. I know a little of the history from what you told me and I would definitely say "she" was with me as I walked back up those cellar steps. The feeling of nauseous I felt was intense and I remember feeling so dizzy that I found it hard to speak. An all-night vigil in the that cellar might answer a few questions.

    Crystal xx

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  28. Self Employed Mum - I really look forward to reading your post on your father. I have linked you, hope that's okay. Having thoughts about fish and chips impressed upon you is so typical! Messages come through in the most unusual way sometimes and you are right, it is very hard to decipher what it is the astral is trying to get through.

    Marie - It's not everyone's cup of tea but I always say keep an open mind.

    Eileen - that was fascinating. Your neice may want to attend a Spiritualist Church in the future, this may enhance her gift. But it shouldn't be forced on her. She may find she will have to seek some kind of advice at some point if the lady who spoke to her was correct.

    Thank you for all your comments, Crystal xx

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