Thursday, 22 May 2008

Spam

Is it just me or has everyone's spam box become completely inundated with erections and an obsession to please your other half? I must get at least 30 emails every day trying to sell me Viagra and various other pleasurable accessories including "Make it Grow" kits and "Massage gently" oils, not to mention "How to please your partner" instruction manuals and "Is it hard enough?" rulers. It's never ending. I was once told there is a way to stop all these emails but to tell you the truth, they cheer me up at 8.30 in the morning. As I sit here choking on my tea and toast I am greeted by Sandra's remedies and Peter's potions. It gives me food for thought at least.


I tend not to open any of them however. The ones I have had a sneaky peak at have been insisting I, or my partner, should send off for Viagra straight away. The delete button gets pressed quite swiftly. No point reading it really, we are both on daily medication as it is and Viagra would no doubt interfere with our compulsory drugs. Apart from which, it takes his head to be hanging off before the farmer will entertain two paracetamol so I doubt I would have much chance with a couple of Viagra.


I wonder about the people who do actually open these emails and read them. Then place their order for a more fulfilling life. I know some (not personally) who could do with a boost and I think it might be less embarrassing ordering them off the internet than popping to the doctor's to discuss your man-servant. All these accessories must work for some and I suppose others just find them a bit of fun. But on the whole, even though some of the subject titles of these emails can quite often be rather offensive, I just smile to myself and think "one day, I might be glad of you."

19 comments:

  1. Oh men are faced which such terrible dilemas arent they? I think it gives an interesting insight to thier psyche..do they need a rolex imitation watch so convincing that even their jeweler wont know it if its real, some pretty blue pills to power their pecker or should they just send a resposne to that nice widow in Nigeria who would like to launder her millions through thier bank accounts..decisions decisions decisions!!!

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  2. I've been told vigagra also helps the woman (I mean as her taking them as well) not that I would ever try!

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  3. I hate spam! Someone must open them and buy the stuff though...at least I would think so since they keep sending them daily all around the world. I always click that it is spam instead of trash and it seems to cut back on the amount of spam I get.

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  4. You could get the Viagra and put it in your tea. It will do nothing for hubby but it will stop your biscuits going soft when you dunk them!

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  5. We don't need any of it yet, but we'll just go to our GP if we do, because we're not embarrassed to ask. Luckily there is no need as of yet and I hope there won't be for quite some time. We're quite contend.

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  6. I used to get loads of them, but i think my spam blocker stops a lot from getting through. Who knows what sort of people might open them, certainly not me!

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  7. You are such a good natured lady & you don't ever seem to get annoyed about anything! Spam can be annoying, I think!

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  8. It just makes me mad to think that they really feel we might actually want to read the garbage that is sent out.

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  9. Exactly - who knows when we might all need it?

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  10. Well I just smile when I get emails asking me if I am worried about the size of my penis! I go to the bathroom to check when I grew one...! lol

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  11. 'so big, she'll choke' that's the most popular subject heading I get through almost every week, now if that's not enough to put you off I don't know what is. It might sell it to the men but I don't see many women buying it for their men with that opening line!!! LOL xxx

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  12. At least with the computer you can delete it quickly. Here in the States we get Viagra and similar adverts in between kids' cable TV stuff. They start off as romantic looking ads then start talking about four hour erections (as being a problem) etc. I'm not sure who makes it to the remote the fastest as we're all dying of embarrassment by that point. Except the four year old of course!

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  13. I like your definition of The Farmer's attitude to Paracetemol. He must be an Aussie!!

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  14. Thankfully most of mine are quickly introduced to my spam filter. I tend to just ignore them before clicking on the 'junk' button. Now and again though I am treated to the odd picture that doesn't go well with the morning breakfast - those I do object to. I have tried bouncing them - but then they bounce back and I end up with double the amount of spam. I have even tried sending the emails to other spammers, but it is time consuming and again a lot bounce back . . . It is such a shame that there are always people to take negative advantage of what is such a good thing - namely the internet.

    Couldn't help laughing at East Anglian Troy and the thought of erect biscuits.

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  15. As Peter Kay said about Hob Nobs, they never go soft. Hard through and through.

    Thank you for all your comments, Crystal xx

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  16. Just come across this one Crystal. I have several email addresses and thankfully dont get this kind of stuff in my regular one - but I do in another one I use. I just delete them and dont read them. I am amazed that people would buy what purports to be Viagra off the internet. Mostly it is fake, and if it is real you are taking a risk with your health. Viagra is a prescribed drug, and readily available for those who genuinely need it.

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  17. I have recently started getting casinos and brand name luxury items as well, which at least makes a change as I race for the delete button! I think once they have got your name, there is not a lot you can do.

    As for needing the Viagra, I need a man first!

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