Friday, 19 September 2008

A Workman's Smile

So here's the thing: painter arrives at 8.30am. I have just settled on the bed, decaffeinated capacinno in hand, Hamish McBeth on UKtv Drama. I think, "I'll just watch the last half hour of this, because I love it, and the past hour of getting Amy ready for school has been nothing short of stressful," when without warning, a ladder is extended and leant against my bedroom window. The heavy footsteps ascend the rungs and I sit on the bed saying, "bugger". I have, for the past two weeks, felt like a gold fish. There is no escape. It seems whichever room I chose to use, a painter appears at the window, brush in hand, smile on face and whistling so annoyingly that I begin to imagine myself accidentally pushing him off his ladder.

Okay, so perhaps lounging about the bed at 8.30am on a weekday, in pajamas is rather uncouth, but a girl needs her 'me-time', you know, that little bit of time when the house is quiet, no one wants feeding, walking or watering and that nine o'clock threshold seems hours away. I would of course begin to feel immensely guilty as the farmer completes his third hour of his working day.

So getting back to saying "bugger", I spill half my capacinno in my haste to get off the bed and try to hide behind the door, hoping the painter won't see me in what could be classed as the worst-dressed, pajama-clad female this side of the border. The shock alone may cause an injury as he laughs his way to the ground, not for want of trying to escape. But fortunately for me, the farmer comes round the corner with his cheery "good morning" and the painter decides to descend the ladder and have a natter. I grab my clothes from the dressing table stool and run into another room, as though I am escaping the big bad wolf. He starts round the other side of the house next week, painting the bathroom window.

And here's another thing: does he have a built-in loo? He isn't the only workman who has been here, done an eight hour shift and never needed the loo. It happened with the kitchen installers back in April. It also happens with our regular inside decorator, even when he painted and decorated the bathroom with a ready-made loo to hand. They have a tea break at 10.30am. Lunch with a flask at 12pm. Another tea break at 3pm. Wouldn't you think with all that tea, they would be struggling to get up a ladder at all? I guess I should get out more.

36 comments:

  1. Well, if they are anything like our French workmen it's off to the bushes or a nearby hedge.

    ReplyDelete
  2. you probably dont really want to know whats going on..

    ReplyDelete
  3. Have you noticed any part of your flower bed looking particularly healthy - or slightly deranged?

    ReplyDelete
  4. I agree that the bushes around your house must have had a fair bit of use recently.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I don't think there is anything wrong with staying in bed till 8:30 or even later. Hey, its real good work if you can get it?! Right! Enjoy!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm in my pjs on the sofa or the bed at 8:30am most mornings. Is there something wrong with that?!?

    ReplyDelete
  7. what goes in must come out .... and all that!

    ReplyDelete
  8. You need to start wearing that sexy pink bathrobe that you have, that frilly one. Then it won't matter so much. You'll be sort of dressed.

    ReplyDelete
  9. You know Crystal, I was wondering the same thing. Our builders are here for eight hours and I make them three or four cups of tea and they never ever use the loo.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I don't think I want to know. The image of a man with legs slightly spread and his eyes staring off into nowhere - is always one that makes me sort of clench. I mean - it's something we can't do and it would make life so much easier!

    And - you know me - in my housecoat until past 11am! No shame whatsoever!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hi CJ, you have had a redesign since I was last here - that probably just shows what an awful blogging friend I am at the moment, but it looks lovely!

    I couldn't hold on all day and that is for sure, so I think it probably is a case of you just don't want to know! Also, a rest after getting Amy ready for school is absolutely excusable! Lord knows what the window cleaners think when they see me sat up in bed mid-afternoon!!

    I am not back to blogging yet, just starting to come visiting friends to see what they are up to & for a catch up in their lives!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Bushes I bet!!
    Is that pic Banburgh??? Was up 4 Grace's opening.......fabulous place!!

    ReplyDelete
  13. I think they go against a fence somewhere in the garden! Couldn't go eight hours.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Does he have an enclosed work truck? Maybe there's porti potti in there...

    You fight for that 'me-time', it sure makes life a little easier to take. :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. I wouldn't worry about the pyjamas. I have a friend who was cleaning the bathroom, didn't want to get her new skirt and blouse splashed, took them off, and was then witnessed by the window cleaner in undies, tights, shoes, and rubber gloves.

    ReplyDelete
  16. That is worrying - all that tea and no wee to see! Oh that is worrying....

    ReplyDelete
  17. Ha! Everyone's saying the same thing I was thinking! He's doing it in your yard!

    ReplyDelete
  18. I would stay in bed a lot longer, if I could. Enjoy every second of ME time you can get.

    Hopefully, the painters will be gone soon and picture how amazing it will look.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Oh I thank the lord regularly for the lack of window cleaners here, for the exact same reason!

    And I'm also betting your garden is getting extra moisture!

    ReplyDelete
  20. This post cracked me up!!
    Id agree with everyone else, it has to be your bushes!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Just be grateful they don't need to use your loo. Boys and toilets... ugh to horrible to contemplate

    ReplyDelete
  22. I shall examine the bushes later. On second thoughts I might not. He's a lovely chap.

    Kaycie, there's absolutely nothing wrong with sitting in your pj's at any time of day as far as I'm concerned. But living here, it isn't unusual to have someone visiting us at seven in the morning!

    Thank you for all your comments, Crystal xx

    ReplyDelete
  23. I think your gardens will look much richer now, with the soil having "nutirents" added...

    Love,
    Suzy

    ReplyDelete
  24. I know what you mean. Most of the workmen I have ever hired have not asked for the loo either. I think they definitely use the loos that nature provided... that is, a tree or a bush!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Hamish ...Robert Carlisle in all his beauty! I taught a pupil who was the spitting image of him. He was named Hamish throughout the 7 years I taught in the school!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Suzy - Nutrients, hmmm!!

    Rosiero - perish the thought, although most commenters here seem to think the same thing!

    MrsNesbitt - I think Robert Carlisle is rather nice. Not of the David Tennant quality but still, he'll do as another Doctor Who. A rumour I heard!

    Thank you for your comments, CJ xx

    ReplyDelete
  27. These workmen must have bladders the size of...

    Er, I think it would be best to just leave that to the imagination. *BG*

    God bless and take care. :).
    Olga/Maddie

    ReplyDelete
  28. Do his overalls look any bigger by the end of the day?

    Yuk

    Award for you at mine!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Having been through home renovation several times, I can feel your pain! I used to sit in the closet some just to be totally out of sight for a few minutes. And as for the loo question? I would think it's best not to think about that too hard.

    ReplyDelete
  30. The BB brought me here and I'm glad it did. Draw you curtains girl and ignore the painter! Hamish is well worth it if you ask me.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Yep, I agree with the others, look for tell tale signs of "secondhand" tea, around your flowers, trees etc.

    I've discovered the basic problem of pyjamas. When you go to bed in them, you just don't ever want to get out of them. In order to get up and at it in the morning, I'm fast thinking pyjamas should not be worn in the first place!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Ha, this post made me laugh...sorry but it did. I could just imagine you trying to hide and relax all the while having painters pop up like some kind of mad comedy.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Perhaps he runs over to the East Coast Main Line and flashes at the express trains? He wouldn't be the first now would he?

    ReplyDelete
  34. Olga - I think you're right, we will.

    Suzy - Haven't really noticed, I'm not that kinda-gal! Thanks for the award.

    Pamela - The closet! Good idea..

    Ilana - Thanks for your visit, I love Hamish so I'll just take your advice!

    Vanilla - What happens with those who don't wear any?

    DJ - It was a bit like a comedy, a carry on film perhaps!

    Troy - Ha ha. A prize for the best memory....

    Thank you for all your comments, CJ xx

    ReplyDelete
  35. I know, it's a mystery. I've just had a chap here all last week, and I'm sure he didn't use the loo once! Strange. At least they are turning up anad doing the job though. M xx

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for leaving a comment. I try my best to reply to each one individually.