My Birthday Girl

I read many posts about birthdays; our own, our children's, a family member or friend. But today I want you to read about one of the most special days in my life; 3rd January 2000. It was a Monday. At 2.47pm, I brought a miracle into the world when I gave birth to Amy. It was the first and last labour I would ever experience, and if I thought I couldn't bear the pain of a suspected pulled muscle the other day, I had no idea how unbearable the pain of giving birth would be. Excruciating is too mild a word. It is impossible to describe because it is a feeling that we, as women, would go through again and again for the bundle swathed in a blanket that was placed in our arms. Of course I wouldn't want to go through it again. Fortunately, I am unable to physically turn the clock back eleven years, but my unconditional love for Amy meant that the moment she entered our magical world, my life changed forever. We might have been through some ups and downs during these past eleven years, particularly concerning her diagnosis of autism, but believe me, it's all been worth it. And when I look at her beautiful face, when I reach into her heart with my words of "I love you", I remind myself how little pain I actually felt whilst giving birth compared to the love I am now able to experience.

She likes Justin Bieber and JLS, she swoons over Robbie Amell from True Jackson (he's pretty darn hot!) and she asks, "when I'm older will I have a boyfriend?" Questions like this indicate how much she has grown up this past year; how she is starting to see the world in a different light to her imagination surrounding Barbie. It's now become "Barbie and Ken". Of course I am aware of her realisations of growing up; the fact that I can no longer talk to her like she's my little girl, even though, in my eyes, she always will be; and I sometimes miss those earlier years of innocence, of playing with Postman Pat and his black and white cat. But it doesn't matter that I can't turn the clock back. I'll always have those memories and my love for Amy will ensure they are locked in my heart forever. Alongside my little girl.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AMY