Wednesday, 5 January 2011

The Pitfalls and Benefits of Blogging

I've been blogging now for nearly four years and in all that time I have come across many arrogant and opinionated people. I have also come across some lovely people and made many good friendships in the process. But sometimes, it's the arrogant and opinionated people who overwhelm the joys of this incredibly sociable network and make me realise that some don't enjoy online communities as much as I do. Confrontation is something I abhor and I will always turn away from, so when someone makes me feel stupid and in the wrong I tend to clam up. But occasionally my inner strength rises to the surface and my instinct to ignore becomes something of an issue when I find myself being "virtually flogged".

Making friends is something I get little chance to do living in such a remote area, which is why I love blogging and other social networking sites so much. I'd like to think I'm a friendly type of person even though my confidence is easily knocked. I enjoy the competition that blogging brings and I love finding new blogs to read and follow. Being a member of Twitter has opened many doors for me and introduced me to a world of new experiences. I'm not a weak person nor am I a doormat. I might not be the sharpest tool in the box, but I do know when to avoid a confrontational situation which may damage my reputation as someone just trying to get on in life; someone just wanting to be normal, eager to join in and make friends. Blogging and social networking isn't a hard cookie to crumble but it can sometimes cause misinterpretation, misunderstanding and misguidance. I'm just me; a mum, a writer, a farmer and a wife. But I intend to achieve something in my life, something worth fighting for, something worth working damned hard for. And I won't let arrogance and opinions pull me back from the life I intend to lead.

I work really hard on my blog, trying to publish posts as often as I can, even though I am desperately trying to prepare my book for submission. The blogging part all adds to the marketing and promotion, as does social networking in general. No matter how opinionated people become, it will never stop me doing what I love. These past few weeks I have made many new friends in the blogging world and discovered that my sheltered life in the sticks is actually pretty exciting. And that's why I have decided to write this post; I refuse to be intimidated anymore by people who think their opinions are more important than my own. This is my life and if I can help others to enjoy and appreciate the benefits of what I love doing, then I will. My new years resolution: make the inner strength, stronger.

67 comments:

  1. I don't know what's happened, or who has upset you but well done for rising above them. Stuff 'em.

    x

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  2. do what you do because you love it. and try to ignore those pitfalls. they're not worth it...

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  3. As my mum would say hun "Don't let the buggers get you down!" Hugs hun - you know where I am Dxxx

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  4. Hope you are ok. Don't let anyone put you down you are to special for that. Xxx

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  5. Like Very bored says, someone has obviously upset you (hope it's not me). I love reading your blog to hear about life on the farm, autism, Northumberland (close to my heart) and spiritualism. If someone doesn't like that, they don't have to read it! Keep on keeping on.

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  6. I've had a lot of hate stuff thru my blog and facebook, but the positives far outweigh the negatives. Keep strong and know you are better than them.
    Nxx
    P.S. I do hope it wasn't me who hurt you :(

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  7. Sweetie, keep going - look at all your awards and nominations and remember you do it all for you.

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  8. You go for it. I think that people who feel the need to put others down for the hell of it must be really unhappy with their own lives!
    It's a pity that some see a dislike of confrontation as a weakness, there is too much hate and fighting in the world. I think being able to walk away from ignorant, nasty people is a sign of strenght and maturity :)

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  9. I hope you're ok

    For what its worth, I like you just as you are and like reading exactly what you write - please keep it up

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  10. Kathryn you are doing something you love and believe in. Anyone who doesn't like it - well you know what they can do! Keep going, who ever has upset you isn't worth waisting another moment over. Tweet you soon on Twitter! Fiona (@reiver_girl)

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  11. I don't know what has happened but I'm sorry that it has. I completely agree with you about the lovely advantages of social networks like twitter, facebook and blogging. They bring with them a way of connecting to people whom we may not have ordinarily met ( A subject I am posting on my own blog this week during a blog fest strangely enough) most of the people I have come across are lovely and I'm currently lucky to be able to say as fairly new blogger, that I haven't had any problems but I imagine with time the trolls may come.

    I'm glad you are not being put off by whomever this person is. This is a great blog and one I love reading. Do what you enjoy and don't let anyone take that away from you.

    Long may the blogging continue!

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  12. Hi! Just dropping in to wish you a happy 2011..

    Your blog is great, loved the birthday photo of Amy - what a stunning smile!!

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  13. Thank you for being real. I feel ya! Keep doing what you're doing!

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  14. I totally know what your saying, i have several times had comments or tweets from other bloggers that i have found aggressive and argumentative.

    I try to just be friendly and be myself when blogging and on twitter but i find (often longer term bloggers) take things very seriously and seem to think every tweet is about them or every blog post requires their opinion. I used to not publish them so i didn't have to deal with them or delete the whole post. Now i just reply. I too hate confrontation and when this happens i think immediately i will shut the blog down and delete twitter!

    I guess we should just stay strong and keep at it or its just bullying i suppose.

    I love your blog, we are two people from very different lives and thats why i enjoy reading your posts.

    xxx

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  15. Good for you! I'm a complete coward and run for the hills at the first sign of conflict. XXX

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  16. As Mrs Nesbitt says don't let the buggers get you down. You have a marvellous gift and you are good at it. Some people always seem to have to win an argument, they are very insecure. I think you are brill!

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  17. I never know why people pass such negative comments on blogs, its better that they just dont reply if they dont like it! I always liek this quote "Other people's opinion of you does not have to become your reality." ~Les Brown
    Good on you for having inner strength as your new years resolution. I love your blog by the way although I dont tend to comment xx

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  18. Speaking as someone who experienced the darker side of blogging last year I recognize both your dismay that such troubled people exist and your defiance to carry on doing what you do and not let them hold you back. Good for you.

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  19. I can't imagine who would want to upset you Kathryn? I have always enjoyed your posts. We are all entitled to our opinions and if you voice yours once in a while and someone doesn't like it, then tough on them. Keep going on just the way you are.

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  20. I'm sorry something has happened to make you feel like this. There seems to be a bit of it about, more so when a blog is doing well I've noticed. Another well-established and well known blogger has recently closed down her blog due to online nastiness, which is a terrible shame.

    Keep going, your blog is always interesting and you are a lovely online presence. x

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  21. So sorry that something has happened which upsets you. That's just awful. It's also human nature.

    That's why Bear always checks things before he puts them on on his blog.

    Just keep doing what you love, and you'll be fine. I hope you have a wonderful 2011.

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  22. I am very sorry that this has happened to you. I do not understand things like this...do not understand why people have to spread negativety and rudeness around...why can't they just click away if they don't like something...so easy to just click that little x.

    I am a lot like you in that I am pretty isolated where I live and with my circumstances so the connections I have through blogging are vital to me.

    I think it's good you have written this and are standing up to these people...making your inner strength stronger is a good wish for 2011...not letting people who think their opinions matter more or are mean about what they have to say, to intimidate you is a good thing. Something I pray every day is for a hard protective shell to be around me so if meanness or hurtful things are said to me or come near me that they slide off of me instead of going inside me and bringing me down.

    I hope you don't stop writing or change how you write for people that don't deserve the time of day. XX

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  23. Well said! It's such a shame people go round trampling on others via their blogs and twitter. It's your blog and you should say what you want. Most nasty comments are out of jealousy. Sending big hugs, x

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  24. My blog, "Help, My Compass Broke" (http://helpmycompassbroke.blogspot.com/) is entirely different from yours, CJ -- I began mine as a way to get back to writing again, for no other reason, and I don't get that many visitors (hey guys? check it out...okay, that was shameless self-promotion. If you want to laugh, though, Legends of the Fall, Dog Days, The Night that Russell Was Born, and Booty Call are pretty funny if I do say so myself.) Now back to this blog, which is like a cool drink of water on a hot day...I am so glad to have found it, and I love reading all about what goes on with you and Amy and the Farmer and the dogs and everything else!!

    I am not prone to immediately address rudeness or put-downs either; usually I will think of what I should have said far too long after the fact. I feel it's better to take a deep breath, "consider the source" and try to move on. But that is really only better for the other person, not me, and my stress levels show it. I wish there were a way I could express myself without throwing something -- a succinct and effective reaction. But I need to work on that. Meanwhile, keep up the good work. We love you!

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  25. What a great post! Sorry you have been on the sharp end of some condescending people on the blogosphere - but just pretend you are a duck like I do - it's all water off a duck's back isn't it? It's one thing to have a constructive argument, quite another to try and put people down.

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  26. Blogging is supposed to be fun. Yes we can all have different opinions, but why be nasty about it. Sorry you're upset.

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  27. Hi Kathryn,

    I don't 'know' you very well having only just stumbled across you on twitter yesterday! So I haven't had chance to read back at your blog posts yet, but I applaud this one.

    I don't really know what it is makes some people turn to nastiness and bullying online, except that I suppose it is easy to hide behind a screen - I wonder if they're so 'brave' in real life?

    Well done you for speaking your mind and long may it continue. Pleased to have 'met' you.

    x

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  28. You go girl!
    Unfortunately, the great things about blogging etc is also its pitfalls. Opening up your life to people is a brilliant way of making friends but not everyone is going to be as nice as you hoped. In life you can just avoid them down the pub and I guess thats just what you have to do on line too. You have a huge positive following and a hell of a lot to be proud of.

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  29. Sounds like you bumped into a social bully. I don't think you're the first to do so and likely won't be the last. Good for you for deciding not to be a doormat for a social thug.

    The problem with this type of communicating is that because there is no face to face contact, people write things they wouldn't say to you in your own living room. Before pushing the publish button, people should think about how what they've written may be perceived. If it's something they wouldn't say to you face to face, it's best not to say or write it at all.

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  30. Great post. There are so many blogs out there with so many opinions. There will always be rude and condescending people, social bullies, as one of your commenters said. Everybody has their own opinion, and you have yours. But, you know what, it makes you appreciate even more the good ones, the kind bloggers, that you can connect with. I'm glad I found your blog, I'll be checking back often.
    Hugs, Karen ~Georgia Angel

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  31. Excellent post! I realize that I now have blogging in my blood. I so value the many blogger friends I have made from all over the world. Including you8, my dear friend.

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  32. I'm so sorry you've run into this sort of issue. I've been very lucky in that those negatives voices have been few and far between. Good for you for not allowing them to get to you. In the whole scheme of things they're just strangers who grumble past you on the street.

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  33. Fortunately I have missed a lot of the cattiness in blogging (perhaps it's because of the time difference?). I never know what people are referring to and I'm happy to keep it that way.
    Last month however, I was on the receiving end of some diva-like behaviour which I thought was hilarious. The person in question has delusions of importance and obviously forgets that, at the end of the day, blogging circles are tiny parts of a much bigger world.

    Just laugh it off if you can - you're the bigger person here!

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  34. Let Meh At'em!!!!Hahaa....
    Wonderful post sweetheart! And SO True!
    Love you!
    hughugs

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  35. Well, I am so happy to have found you so yay for blogging! I'm absolutely fascinated with the idea of living in the English countryside and your pictures are just beautiful. I look forward to visiting Crystal Jigsaw often!! =)

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  36. Crystal I think this is an awesome post!!!I am glad that I stopped by to read..I enjoy reading your post

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  37. woot. say it...yeah there will always be someone that will tell you what they think you should do with your life...you choose to listen or not...

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  38. i think you are a wonderful person and i'm sorry you've had some negativity. xx

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  39. So sorry that this has happened to you on your lovely Blog. Best to ignore it. There are bullies out there who have totally got he Blogging thing wrong. Like bullies in life-the best thing to do is to let it go.
    Had on myself recently-I answered him very politely on his email but he felt the need to come back. I could have debated him but why give myself the aggro.
    You Blog is lovely.

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  40. Oh dear....... is someone hassling you on line?
    Its your blog and you don't have to put up with it.
    I like coming to visit you and value your blogging friendship as do all these people who have commented. Doesn't that speak to you?
    Ignore the ignoramus!
    Maggie X

    Nuts in May

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  41. Clearly, anyone who thinks they know more about 'good' blogging than anyone else is a fool, and it's kindest to ignore them while they continue to embarrass themselves.

    The great thing about blogging is that success is what YOU want it to be - if you're happy, enjoying what you do - then you're successful. And so many people get pleasure from your blog, including me.

    Chin up.
    x

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  42. I have followed you since the early days of blogging because you are that person: the one to rise above, and not be intinidated. YOu always take the time (I'd love to know how you find it!) This is an excellent post, but I am sorry for the causes of it. Sending big supportive ((hugs))

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  43. Sometimes I write things but when I stand in front of the mirror, I can't tell myself I am looking at a writer. I like to consider every bit of what I do differently from who I am and so any criticism, be it positive or otherwise on what I do can't spill into who I am - which is more of the reality. But if you do something because you love it, it becomes part of you and inseparable and in your case, Crystal, I certainly think you should continue doing what you do regardless of the tricks and snares of the squirrels along the path.

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  44. I think your blog is great, why on earth would anyone want to put you down?

    Nice post, don't let whoever they are get you down.

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  45. It isn't easy, but you are doing the right thing by rising above it. These negative people can't be living happy lives. Chin up, lovely and don't let the B******S get you down x

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  46. Don't let the b******** grind you down. I think you are fabulous. This is an informative and inspiring post. I'm a blogging virgin but know through experienced blogging friends it gets tough but rise above it and keep doing what you are doing.

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  47. There are always people in the world that want to pout us down but I thin that they are probably jealous of your success. Rising above it is definitely the way forward lovely x

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  48. Shucks, sorry you have had a battering. Wishing you some gentleness and soothing. x

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  49. You sound hurt. Although angry isn't a place one would wish to spend too much time, in the short time it can provide just that burst of energy we need to hold us up and carry us through...onward and indeed upward.

    With love, for a Happy New Year!

    E x

    http://philosopher-without-a-cause.blogspot.com/2010/11/cartesian-beginnings.html

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  50. Ah, the truth bears out! You've got more people for you than agin' you! Including me!

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  51. *standing ovation*

    I have no idea what was said or by whom but I hope they read this and see how dignified you are and how it has obviously played on your mind.

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  52. Good for you! You ultimately write a blog for yourself, although it's fun to share. Haters should go elsewhere. (I worked as a reporter at a daily paper for years; they certainly loved to call there!) I'm sorry someone upset you, but I'm glad you've decided to persevere!

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  53. All the comments before me put into eloquent words what I would say to you too.
    Forget about that/those people now, the masses have spoken!

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  54. Hi!! thanks so much for stopping by my blog!! I know what you mean, the few bad experiences always seem to outshine the many great ones in everything we do. We just have to try to focus on the positive :)

    I'm a new follower!

    http://inthehammockvintage.blogspot.com

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  55. Well said! In all the time I've been doing this online mullarkey, I've come across two really poisonous person, but they do knock your confidence. The problem is wholely theirs, they lack the bravery in their 're3al life' to say what they feel and use the relative anonimity of the internet to vent their spleen (and express their jealousy to someone they perceive as a threat). When this happened to me recently, a good and wise friend advised me to 'never try to please someone who looks down on you. Turn on your heel and walk right on away'. And know that the good people FAR outweigh the bad.
    Gill Fraser Lee

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  56. In real life and online, I ignore rude and arrogant people. Their opinions used to affect me, but I won't give them that power anymore. And I'm so much happier because of it.

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  57. awwwww Crystal, I'm so sorry you have encountered unpleasantness in the midst of doing something you love.

    The internet is like the real world with people who are unhappy with themselves and it makes them feel better by picking on someone else. I guess misery loves company and it is easier for them to do it online . . . a coward can become a bully.

    Be true to yourself . . . this is YOUR blog and in my opinion, one's blog is like coming into your house . . . it is your personal space!! WOW . . . look at all these awesome people who love what you do :)

    Thank you for stopping by and following my blog . . . I am following you back and look forward to exploring more of your blog!

    Have a wonderful weekend . . . Gina

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  58. I'm sure you have far more followers and friends who enjoy and understand what you do here in the social/blogging world than you have enemies. Wow! For the one or two negative opinions you've encountered, you've just received 60 pats on the back in the form of comments to your blog entry. And here's one more!

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  59. I am following you as part of the blog hop. Please, follow me back at www.madamedeals.com or on facebook Madame Deals, INC, Goggle Friends, or twitter. Thank you, Amee

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  60. You are an inspiration to many CJ as you always rise above the crap than can happen. Keep blogging just the way you do it. Mich x

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  61. Stuff the lot of them; whoever they are and whatever they did to upset you they are not worth a second thought. Keep blogging your way my dear - you rock.

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  62. Thank you for stopping by my blog today! Stopped by to follow your blog back! It's lovely - I can't wait to read more!

    Hope you have a wonderful day and stop by & say hello again!!

    Aimee @
    justkiddingaroundatlanta.blogspot.com

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