Monday, 1 August 2011

Catching Up With Life

I spent the weekend at my mum's. Just needed to catch up with family and friends after nearly two years of not being able to go anywhere. Now that I've been I feel better but when I arrived on Friday afternoon, all I could think about was going home again. I have to admit it's been a very enjoyable weekend. I spent time with my brother and his family, my oldest and dearest friend whom I've known for 34 years, and then on Sunday I went to see my ex-husband and his absolutely lovely wife. I was a little nervous about seeing him again and perhaps somewhat apprehensive about meeting his wife but we hit it off from the moment we hugged. It was like seeing two life long friends and I can honestly say I feel all the more richer for being with them. It's more than 15 years since I got divorced and he hasn't changed a bit. To sit on the sofa with his wife chatting about everything and anything seemed the most natural thing to do. His family know we're in contact and find it rather odd; but life goes on.

The main thing is, we don't think it's odd because we simply drifted apart all those years ago. There was no one else involved, no bitterness, no spite. We knew things had ended between us and we also knew that we needed to set each other free. He found one of the nicest people I now have the privilege to call my friend, and moved on with his life. So I sat there in what used to be our three-bedroom semi, looked at Amy and thought about the way everything happens for a reason. Perhaps we would have had a child together, who knows, but that child wouldn't have been Amy. No matter where life's twists and turns lead us, there's always a straight path ahead. I'm walking along my path with my beautiful daughter, wonderful husband and am still able to wave to my past. Right now, I feel very lucky indeed.

Edit: Just to reiterate, my ex-husband is not Amy's biological father. We split up in 1996. Amy was born in 2000.

24 comments:

  1. Sounds like an over due wonderful weekend.

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  2. Hello Kathryn,

    That's sounds like a very healthy relationship with your ex. How wonderful for Amy that her Mom and biological father can be friends.

    That will be a good influence on her and her relationships in the future, I'm sure.

    Glad you enjoyed your visit home.

    your friend,
    Janet xox

    Big hug for Amy!

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  3. smiles. i am glad you were able to have that kind of interaction with your ex and his family...that is healthy...

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  4. So refreshing to hear you speak fondly of your ex and his partner. I too have nothing but praise for my ex's partner and a healthy relationship with my ex. It's all about being grown up and not holding on to negative emotions.
    You achieved a lot on the weekend, it's no wonder you were apprehensive. Things really have been mighty positive for you recently haven't they?

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  5. Re: Janet, I got yhe impression that the farmer is Amy's father - not that it's any of my business.

    I was 46 when I had DD and I could have done without a good few events from my past. However, as you say, if things had been different I may have had 7 children and they'd all be grown up by now. But I wouldn't have had DD...

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  6. Glad you had such a wonderful time, Kathryn. It all just seems so "right," somehow.

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  7. In order to make a few corrections, my ex-husband nor my current husband (i.e. the Farmer) are Amy's biological father!! I've had a chequered past.

    Thank you for your comments, CJ xx

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  8. What a lovely sounding weekend. I'm still in touch with my ex fiance people do find it weird but he, like your ex husband are big junks of our past. I cant imagine just cutting them out. x

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  9. Read this on FB...I like the fact y'all are friends...
    hughugs

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  10. Sounds like it was a wonderful weekend. And if you can be friends with your ex and his family that's great! Sure beats the alternative of sniping, and backstabbing that quite often happens.

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  11. I think it's wonderful that you and your ex (and his wife) have a good relationship. Glad to hear you enjoyed your weekend. x

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  12. Glad you had a really nice weekend.
    My parents divorced in 1985 but stayed friends so it can work been good friends with an ex. Sometimes when we have relationships with people and the relationship changes its nice to know that you can still be friends because you have shared a past together x

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  13. I would not say you have a checkered past. More like a seasoned one, sprinkled with many varieties of love. One just happened to provide you with sugar and spice to sweeten and season your life.
    I'm glad your old flame/friend was able to introduce you to a new friend.
    Happy that you got out and shook things up a bit. I hope Amy had fun too. I think kids are interested to know we had a life before they became our world.

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  14. Because you were able to be gracious and open, you healed old wounds and found new friends. I'm so pleased for you.

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  15. Just go with colorful ;)
    Glad it all went well and you are in such a good place with it all ... speaks volumes for your character and overall loveliness!

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  16. Glad you had good visits with everyone. If the friendship still works after the marriage didn't, absolutely nothing wrong with that. Good people are good people no matter what.

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  17. When you hear and read so much about acrimonious divorces, ex-wives bitching about their husbands and new partners and so on, it is so refreshing to read how adults behave!
    Glad you enjoyed your weekend away, even though you immediately wanted to go home again. I know several people like that, you are not alone!

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  18. Sounds like everything has worked out reallyw ell for you CJ - I am very glad.

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  19. That's great that you're friends with your ex. It's a shame that people think it's odd.

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  20. Glad you had a great weekend CJ and I love that fact that you have a great relationship with your ex husband.

    I found out about 2 weeks ago that my ex-husbands new wife has cheated on him and I'm so distraught for him. We just drifted apart too and I just want him to be happy.

    xx

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  21. Thank you for your comments on this post. I couldn't ever imagine not being friends with my ex. He was a very important part of my life for many years, and now I feel he will be forever. Our friendship means a great deal to me, and I'm quite sure it does to him, too.

    Thanks again, CJ xx

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  22. So glad you were feeling well enough to experience such a wonderful weekend that included the gift of a new friend!

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  23. That's awesome that you can still get along. I see no reason why I can't be friends with my exes either! Good on you for making it work with them x

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  24. I think that is lovely. Possibly only worked because you both have other people though.

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