Monday, 25 March 2013

Do Cliques Still Exist?

I wonder...often. Some people say they don't, others are adamant that they do. I sit a little uneasy on it myself because part of me thinks yes, and the other part thinks no. I'd like to think we have 'friendship circles' in the blogging community because a) it sounds nicer, and b) we are bound to be more friendly with some bloggers than others. But I'm afraid I'm seeing evidence of cliques recently that makes me feel a little uncomfortable - not to mention left out. I don't do cliques. I have many 'friends' in the blogging communities and some of those friends I've met, but I haven't attended conferences or events or had the chance to meet the majority of bloggers I interact with and unless I'm about online it means my presence simply isn't felt. I don't consider myself part of a clique and if I was told I was part of one, I'd back off. Neither do I consider myself important enough to be in a clique. As far as I'm concerned, no blogger is more important than another. Whether you're at number 1 or number 1001, you are still only human. Some bloggers chat to me all the time, on Twitter, Facebook, Google Plus. But many don't. I don't know why that is and can only think it has something to do with the fact I'm shy, and maybe a little paranoid. Perhaps people find me over-opinionated, abupt, rude even. Maybe people think I'm boring and not worth spending their time on. Who knows. Who really cares.

Well as a matter of fact, I do. Care, that is. It's so easy for someone to say something in the blogging community on social media and be shot down in flames for having an opinion. Some people are good at the shooting, some are good at taking it. I'm not good at either. I've been a part of social media for quite some time now and even though I see great things happening, I also see negativity. I hate being told what to do in any circle of life, though I do understand there are certain areas of our lives that warrant suggestions and advice, and I'm not one to turn down good advice if I think I need it. There have been times when I've put my point across, be it on Facebook or Twitter, or even in a blog, and the conversation has ground to a halt. Writing this blog post makes me feel uneasy but as this is my blog where I write my own stuff, I suggested to myself that I just get on with it. I won't dwell on this post but I just needed to write it, get a few things off my chest. I can't help who I am. I can't help being opinionated behind a computer screen and shy in real life. I can't help that I live hundreds of miles away from venues and find mixing in groups particularly intimidating. That's me. And I'm going now. So bye then. See you.

94 comments:

  1. There are friendship circles and there are cliques. The former are inclusive, the second are exclusive.

    If you find yourself excluded from a clique, rather than thinking, "Why do those bloggers not deem me worthy? why not try thinking, "Gosh, what a shame that some people need silly in-jokes and hashtags and snarky comments about other people to bolster their fragile self-esteem."?

    To be honest, life's happier when you remember other people's problems are exactly that - THEIR problem, not yours.

    Here endeth the sermon :)

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    1. Sally, you do realise you'd have made a cracking clergy don't you? Seriously, wise words.

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    2. Totally with Sally here, she is spot on

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    3. Sally took the words right out of my mouth,tweaked them and wrote them down better. thanks sally I quite agree

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    4. Totally agree with Sally. I also think that may be a lot of bloggers are a touch shy (I know I am) which is why they may interact a little less. Blogs are a way (sometimes) to express yourself to the world from behind a safety screen, and people can settle into groups with others, feeling thet don't need to get out further or are too shy to. Like anything though there are just sime nasty people.
      It is nice when you can make it to a tweet-up or group, or organise one in a place near you - I have made a few real life frirnds that way - and you absoloutely know you initially have common ground.

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    5. I nearly did make it to a Britmums conference a couple of years ago but chickened out! Maybe if one comes to a venue near me I will make more effort and go. I use my blog as a way of expressing myself.

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    6. That Sally is a wise lady! Mich x

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  2. I'm very new in the blogging arena and I feel the same; shy, paranoid. Being so new I think gives me an inferiority complex and on Twitter the feeling that I'm on the outside looking in. I've bought tickets to Britmums and Cybher this year in the hopes of making some friends out there, but I'm so worried I'll just sit there alone, taking notes. I expected there to be cliques in the blogging world as there are in the real world, and I'm fine with that. I don't need to be in one of those (my blog ranks about 1,100th!) but I'd really like some friends.

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    1. I've been blogging six years and I still feel shy and paranoid! But that's because of who I am more than how people make me feel. You will find friends, and lots of them, just like I have, but whether that'll guarantee you a place in an exclusive club is another matter.

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    2. Just friends would be lovely! I'm a teacher, cliques aren't pretty and I would never want in on one. I'd just like some friendly cyber smiles and people to talk to. That would be great :)

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  3. Both of the commenters above me make great points.

    I know what you mean about cliques and I'd even go as far as to say that some of them are factions, and the reasons for those are under the radar of anyone who started blogging in the last year or so.

    Luckily there are people who speak to people on all sides like you.

    Hugs, Liska xxx

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    1. I like to have a variety of online friends, makes my life more interesting to see glimpses into other people's lives rather than just the ones who deem themselves more important.

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  4. They only exist if you acknowledge them; if you think there is an exclusive group and it hurts you, I say turn it round and see it as their process that they need to do that. Not yours. Being outside of a gang is no bad thing.

    I'm not in a clique, I don't have any secret groups I'm part of. No one has ever invited me to one. I'm friendly with people inside and outside of various of the blogging elements but I'm not an insider in any of them. I have no idea if I'm liked or disliked and I don't really care either. I respect decency, good business practice, enterpreneurism, honesty, good writing and an interest beyond self. I'll talk to anyone who displays those and I don't take kindly to bitching, telling on people or trying to ruin anyone else's blogs/businesses/ideas/reputation.

    That may or may not make me likeable but frankly I'm too busy to care much!

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    1. I quite like being part of groups but the minute I notice cliques forming is when I start backing away.

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  5. After nearly five years of blogging I've decided I don't fit anywhere. The last blog awards made me smile as I'm not sure I really fit into any category. But you know what that's fine, well ok I'm pretending it is fine.

    As for you I don't find you aloof I find you amusing and also very caring.

    Maybe we ought start the odd balls awards.

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    1. Thank you for your kind words there. And especially the 'odd balls' - that's me all over!!

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  6. I love, love, love Sally's sermon.
    That is all.

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  7. Cliques definitely exist in the blogging social media world, but I think that just reflects life. Always going to happen in any situation where humans interact.
    For me occasionally it does bother me but in general I find people who are in cliques tend to be quite dull. The fun and interesting people to talk to online tend to be the ones that are individuals.
    Plus the great thing about Twitter and blogs is if you are fed up with a clique you can just unfollow. I like my Twitter timeline to be a happy, friendly face so I just remove those who are negative or cliquey.

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    1. I agree; I have more fun conversations with people online who interact with a variety of different personalities rather than just pop their head out of the parapet to give a sweeping reply to a tweet now and then.

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    2. oh dear, I pop up and give comments from time to time but I do hope they are not sweeping

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    3. Seamstress, your comments are never sweeping! I appreciate your visits immensely. No, I was referring to Twitter in this instance. It can be a place to have a long drawn out conversation or a place to tweet once then disappear.

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  8. Some great points above, but what you need to ask yourself is, why did you start blogging in the first place? Did you do it simply to make online friends and be popular and have everyone fawning at your feet, or did you do it because you had something to say and you hoped people would read it and that you thought it would help to just be able to write your thoughts down and hit that enter button!! I suspect heavily the latter. So I say, to Hell with the cliques. Cliques always think they are better than the rest. Like being the most popular girl in school. But is she really the most popular girl or does everyone just feel pressure to go along with that even though this girl is actually probably a bit of a bully and everyone is actually scared of her rather than likes her!!
    You do your own thing. People will always either like you or not, but most people outside of these cliques see them for what they are. People who exclude others. You aren't like that. Don't ever change! x

    Laura Henretty

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    1. Easy answer to that, Laura; I started blogging because I love to write and wanted to share my creative writing with others, not to mention share my paranormal experiences with others. Blogging has evolved over the years for me, and I imagine the same happens for most other people also. Oh, and I'd love to be popular and have everyone fawning at my feet. I might wash them once in a while then ;-)

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  9. An interesting post, Kathryn. I have been to one writers' conference and came away saying 'Never again.' There was very definitely a clique (which also exists on FB and Twitter) which dominated the whole weekend.

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    1. That's a shame - I do feel quite nervous about conferences and have never attended any, writing ones or blogging. I get intimidated quite easily and I know that isn't anyone else's fault but my own, but it does leave me with an uncomfortable feeling so I feel it's wise I stay in my own little bubble.

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    2. I should have added that I did meet some lovely people (who were not part of the clique) but I still came away feeling somewhat dissatisfied. The cliquey ones (and there were a lot of them) didn't really associate with anyone but themselves. Maybe it was just me who felt that everyone else was 'tolerated' rather than welcomed!

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  10. OK, so this is fascinating. I've just started blogging and am still just trying to get my head around Twitter and blogging, so obviously I"m not important enough to be nasty to or exclude just yet. But I did attend Mumsnet Blogfest last year and do remember a particularly nasty bunch of so-called beauty bloggers who pretended I didn't exist when I was sitting in the midst of them.
    I guess you get these type of people everywhere. BUt I also met a few lovely women who I'm still talking to and I didn't even have a blog at the time. Ignore the people who upset you, life's too short. Your blog is amazing. Stuff them. This is my attitude and hence the stroppy bit in the title of my blog.
    http://whyishersostroppy.wordpress.com/

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    1. Great blog title!!

      None of us are important enough to be anything. This is my point - some people have so much self-importance that it smacks of a desperation to be liked, and it's really not necessary in my opinion. The cliques that used to exist at one of Amy's school were unbelievable but I do think that's a general thing with schools anyway.

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  11. I've certainly being made aware of blogging cliques. I recently commented on a blog post only to find that I was ignored whilst everyone else acknowledged each other. Its not the first time this has happened to me and I've wondered whether I've broken some blogging rule that I don't know about or offered a view that wasn't welcome. Sometimes I wonder whether some bloggers really do want a diversity of opinion (even if their writing attracts it) or are simply seeking a validation of their own opinion. Its hard to know at times.

    Whatever the reason I've used this experience to see that its not good practice to exclude people like this, not least because who is going to return to such unfriendly places? Everybody shoould be made welcome whether or not they are in the clique.

    I don't dwell on these negative experiences though. If I come across a blogging clique that is unfriendly, I don't return, as simple as that. Deb at aspieinthefamily

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    1. Deb, the commenting thing has happened to me.... It was like hearing crickets, ha ha ha...

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    2. Hi Deb! How did you manage to type in Welcome? Great title though!!

      I've had that issue more times than I can remember. Some bloggers haven't even published my comment which in one case in particular, did actually leave me feeling quite pissed off. There were several comments on the post, all strong opinions, yet mine was left out. Why? I have no idea. I assumed they hadn't seen it to moderate it but it was coincidental that not long after that same blogger unfollowed me on Twitter...

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    3. Hi :-)Great post and replies - I have recently started blogging and have also my comments left out or not commented on. It is hard when you are new to this and not aware of all the rules or you think people dont like your writing. I would not want to make anyone feel left out in real life and I dont want to do it online either. Thanks for writing about it - made me feel better :-)x

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    4. Id hate to make people feel left out too, which is why I don't appreciate it being done to me. I guess I'm very much a 'do to others as you would expect done to yourself' so to speak!

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  12. Do you, Kathryn and the rest will fall in place. And let me just say...Wow! Had no idea!

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    1. Well, I guess we're all different, some more different than others.

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  13. I think a lot of us sometimes find ourselves feeling on the outside looking in and after spending a lot of time wondering why, I came to the decision I had better ways to spend my time. Blogging is the same as any "group" or "club", there will always be cliques, or close friendships, its human nature.

    Loving Sally's sermon :-)

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    1. I agree, it is human nature. Would rather it wasn't in our blogging communities however and we could all get on with each other. Not real life though, I know.

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  14. I often feel the cliques in the blogging world. I hold back on joining in or giving an opinion because they can become very defensive of each other and instead of debating an idea just brush it away as inconsequential or just shout at you for being wrong. I feel it more now with these blogging awards and bloggers actually having to beg for nominations makes it kind of feel like a popularity contest that I don't think I could ever make the grade for or be part of. I'm okay with that though. You see my blog will always be my personal space. It's made me experiment more with photography and food and crafts with my wee man. It's made me get out more and do things as a family. Funny that I think. I don't mind if people don't agree with me and sometimes I say things hoping that someone will actually offer me a bit of advice.

    I notice you have written a lot of posts like this these days and I hope you are not feeling disheartened. I really enjoy reading your post about you, Amy and the farm.

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    1. I don't mind the awards but I'm not keen on the begging for votes thing going on. I'm afraid I do have a problem with that in part; if we're voting for people in awards, they should be voted on for the merit of their blog or how appreciated their blog is, not whether they're a member of a certain clique or group. And I do reckon many votes are cast between friends, rather than for the fact someone likes a blog.

      Not disheartened at all, Sabrina. Sometimes, things just need to be said.

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  15. I love your blog because you are so not afraid of bringing up subjects that no-one else wants to acknowledge or write about but still have an opinion on. There are cliques, there will always be cliques, but it doesn't matter, let them be. Much better to have a diverse range of friends than a close knit group, particularly when it comes to being online, it's a huge place so it really doesn't matter if you don't fit in somewhere, there will always be somewhere you do fit in.

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    1. No, I'm not afraid though if I ever offended anyone I would back down. Sometimes, we all have stuff going on and need to just let off steam. I let things build up over time and eventually something inside me snaps, which is when I churn out posts like this.

      You're right, there is somewhere I fit in. My blog.

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  16. Cliques are for followers, Kathryn. And you, my friend, are a leader. You are the person newbies look to when they are trying to figure out where they fit. You are the person people look to to make an honest comment about silly behaviour. You are the person I rely on to tell me when I've lost the plot. I know you will. Because you are not in a group of followers. You lead the beat way: by example.

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    1. You have paid me a great compliment here though I honestly will never see myself as a leader. These days I feel more like an old has-been in the blogging world where my opinion counts for nowt as does my presence. I just enjoy writing, blogging and interacting.

      Oh, and you lost the plot ages ago, flower x

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  17. Yea there are no doubt cliques in the blogging world just as there are in all other communities.

    I am usually the one who is left out of all these things, mainly because I am too naive to notice they are going on around me - I always seem to be the last one to hear gossip; but that's ok, I'll continue to function in my own little world! I certainly don't fit into any blogging categories - and as such I quite happy that I will never win any blogging awards. I have absolutely no idea if I am liked or disliked by other bloggers or if I am respected as a blogger - I blog because I enjoy it, and I am flattered that people read and even more flattered when people comment (the latter doesn't happen very often!).

    Blogging by its nature is a personal thing. Be true to yourself and do it because you want to, and the rest is irrelevant.

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    1. You're not on your own, I'll never win any blogging awards either and that's okay; in my opinion, all bloggers are worthy of winning, not just a select few. It definitely is a personal thing; I try to keep my blog personal with the odd outburst about blogging. Some say it's wrong to blog about blogging. I say move along and read the next blog.

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    2. I think there is a lot to be said about the topic of blogging - it's obviously an important topic to us all. Your blogging posts help me realise I am normal :)

      I'm the one in 'real life' that never knows what's going on either; I'm forever putting my foot in it because I've not heard the latest news or didn't know one person now wasn't talking to another. Oops! I shouldn't expect my blogging life to be any different. It's my blog, I love that people read it, it's fun, that is all that matters.

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  18. Well back in the day when I lived on Forces bases, if you wanted to know about cliques, that was the place to find them in droves. Fine if your face fitted... mine never has, anywhere. And I am proud of the fact that I don't need other people to help define who I am, don't need to bolster my ego by showing how many friends, followers etc., that I have. Like you I am blunt, rude even at times. Opinionated too. That's what makes us interesting I think! Better than being bland and one of the flock. I've had comments ignored,whilst others around me have been responded to. It just means they didn't agree with my opinion I suppose, or like my point of view. So why ask for comments then if you only want people who will agree all the time? No, I'd rather be true to who I am than say something I don't believe just to 'fit in'. Never have, never will.

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    1. I agree, Maggie. I've left many comments on posts over the years that have probably not be appreciated, but like you say, why ask for opinionated comments on an opinionated post if you can't take them. I used to always want to fit in but as I get older I've realised it just isn't important. What is important is being true to who you are.

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  19. We recently went to a plumbing function. Everyone spoke and were very friendly, as usual. But, there sat two hens with their heads together doing their usual gossiping about everyone that walked in the door. I get SO tired of it but I jump right in instead of heading for the hills! I go Straight for them, interrupting their juicy gossip session with a hearty hello and how 'ya been line. With looks of contempt they both icily reply that they were fine...
    People like that usually get what they deserve sweetie...each other!
    Plant a big old smile on your face and blog any old way you want to! Negative people can just keep on trolling if they don't like what they read...
    hughugs

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    1. I'd have loved to see their faces! I don't blame you for jumping in - I love a good gossip with the rest of em, but there's a time and a place, he he

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  20. yes, i think there are...i know a few even here in the blog world...not to be confused with communities...but it is when you are unwelcoming to outsiders that it becomes the other....

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    1. That's exactly it, Brian. It is important to separate these cliques with the communities and that can often be hard.

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  21. Yes, there are definitely cliques. But, I agree with the comment that they are for followers. I have noticed that some that are in cliques are pretty generic. I try to stay away from all of that business. I think every blogger has a voice and something to add to the community. We grow through sharing unique perspectives.

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    1. We certainly do, and all our unique perspectives are important to each one of us. I've learned so much in the blogging world.

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  22. Oh sorry to hear this - I hate cliques in real life and think they certainly exist in a lot of toddler groups, but sad to hear if there are the same online.

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    1. They exist a massive amount in schools and nurseries also. I've experienced a few particularly nasty ones in my time and I'd like to think my online life isn't like that, but it can be, and that's a shame because I love my online life.

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  23. I am going to be honest. Because I know I can be. I LOVE Sally's view, its something I think we all need to look at! I do think there are cliques. I know for me, many MANY people dont talk to me because one person deemed it appropriate to say things that are truly untrue. Many people now ignore me however I have come to realise they really don't matter.
    The reason why you are so fab is because, old or new to blogging you accept people, you talk and give advice, no matter what others might say. You make up your own mind and dont follow the heard. Thats something I admire alot. x

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    1. Yes, you can always be honest on this blog and I hope everyone else will be too. There is no room for causing offence or hurting people's feelings on my blog but there is always room for honesty.

      I do accept people and I never forget that I was once a new blogger, new to social media, and needed support rather than people talking down to me, dictating right and wrong. I'd never follow a herd, I'm far too strongly opinionated for herds!!

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  24. Cliques exist it's a fact.
    All you have to remember is they missing out on your awesomeness.

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    1. Yes, they sure are, hee hee!

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    2. Im with claire here.
      They will never go away but we can all just ignore them x
      And your lovely

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  25. I must say that I'm also one of those faces that never truly fits in, both in the real world and the blogging one. I've been blogging for about six months and in that short time, I've learned that I don't need to try and *fit in* so to speak. Initially I was overwhelmed by it all and feeling inferior - at times I still do, which is why I'm not generally on social media that much. However gradually I've learned that what I write, will speak for itself, regardless of cliques and in-groups. I'll never be 'Miss popular' and that's fine by me because those friendships that I have made through blogging, are far more valuable to me.

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    1. I don't really think it's important to be Miss Popular online. I'd like to be more popular in my real life though I'd out I ever will be!

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  26. I find that, tbh, I don't have the time to feel included. Does that make sense? I have 4 kids, 2 with special needs and I haven't the time or energy to regularly visit people's blogs just so that they converse with me back. Well that's how I feel it happens anyway.

    Have to say I would never have guessed that you would feel like this - just goes to show that I shouldn't assume. You are someone I admire and am in awe of. I'm usually just on my phone randomly replying to things - so if you see me, feel free to shout hello at me :O)

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    1. Yes, it makes perfect sense! I often feel that way too. If I get a day that I can spend pottering through the blogosphere or social media, I usually find I can't do the same thing for the next few days which means I'm a passing presence! And thank you for your kind words x

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  27. Yes they definitely exist and there's the odd one here and there that's rude and will ignore you but I find on the whole most bloggers are supportive and kind and will give advice/chat etc. There are even the odd exclusive circle that don't like anyone else being included and I think that's just part and parcel of those bitchy groups you meet at secondary school that never grow up. Then there are those who stand tall on their own and let the blog speak for itself. There are a few of those around and your blog is one of them! Think its ok to be shy. You're like a blogging veteran! (But not an old one...if you know what I mean?)

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    1. I find that with many bloggers, too, they are a supportive bunch, though there is a handful that I wouldn't want to meet in person.

      I think I know what you mean - quite like the 'not an old one' bit, lol

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  28. Yep - me too...are we starting a new clique of the cliqueless! :) But it's reassuring to know that they exist everywhere, clubs, school gates, gyms, mummies groups, etc so I suppose it's going to exist in the blogging world too! It's difficult not to be seduced into thinking we're supposed to all be doing the same; working up stats or taking part in mass blog marathons or whatever, but thankfully we're not all the same or wouldn't it be boring. Like everyone says, I don't think we have to worry about others who clearly have problems - people without problems don't do others down! Instead we just have to focus on doing what we do - expressing ourselves mindfully in the hope of contributing something to the world. That's why we blog really isn't it?! xxx

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    1. I'm in the cliqueless!! They most certainly do exist everywhere, particularly in schools and clubs. I've found one in a club recently that Amy goes to and even though the majority are lovely kids, there are some who seem to ignore her and I know she feels left out because she's told me.

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  29. Hi Kathryn :)

    Ive been on the outside of many a Clique in the "real world" but i guess ive been fortunate enough to not really find it a problem online, which I'm thankful for because i hate them :(

    On my own blog i reply to every single comment thats left, and try to engage with everyone at the same level. I would be horrified if someone said to me they thought it was going on on my blog.

    Very interesting and thought provoking post :)

    x

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    1. I do try to reply to all comments, especially on posts like this one which has become a brilliant discussion - my favourite posts!

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  30. Oh Kathryn, I love our little chats on twitter, and I don't think or can imagine you being rude. I also think Cliques exist, and often feel I am left out too of things. We are very similar in certain things ;) which is a good thing!

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    1. You're one of the good guys, Mirka, always there for a chat and that's something I really appreciate.

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  31. They certainly do exist. I see it all the time at daughters school, at her gym- if you are in a particular squad then you get lots more attention and the gym seems to focus on you. If you are friends with one particular gym mum you are part of the 'it' crowd too. I've seen it in my hobies too. If you're part of the popular crowd then its great, you get to find out everything thats happening, if not then you're on the outskirts finding things out 2nd or 3rd hand.
    P.S- I've never been part of an 'it' crowd- i try my best to include everyone particularly someone new or those that look like they are lost.

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    1. That's a really good thing to do - being someone who finds herself looking into the circle rather than out of it, I appreciate people who make an effort to include others.

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  32. Cliques in the social media? I don’t know about anywhere else but I haven’t come across them in blogland. And I probably wouldn’t want to be part of a clique. I am a solitary kind of person, not really given to being one in a group.

    Besides, there isn’t enough time to be in touch with everybody and one doesn’t really have that much in common with many people.

    I enjoy blogging for its own sake and for being able to write about things that matter to me. And if I ‘meet’ pleasant people who also have opinions, I welcome them.

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    1. I'm very solitary too, and I think that's how I'm discovering that cliques do exist in all circles of social media. I've seen many falling outs in blogland and it's all very sad really. The problem in many cases is far too many people on social media think they know it all and if you challenge their opinion, they turn their back on you. I've experienced this first hand on numerous occasions over the years.

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  33. I have only been blogging a year or so in a very spasmodic manner (ie when I have the time and am not too busy or tired) I think my blog is probably nearly totally ignored (except for sutleress and stationary pidgeon who know me) but I don't really care cos I write when I feel like it and not really for anyone else although anyone is welcome to read it. so as I am not a proper blogger I haven't fallen foul of any cliques so far but where there are people there will always be cliques of some form. I love reading your blog and leaving the odd comment and agree with what has been said above about you. kepp up the good work

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    1. I do try and get round many blogs, honestly I do. The cliques are everywhere in real life and in virtual life and I don't like them in any walks of life.

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  34. Just found your thlog, it's awesome. For the cliques, yeah they still exist. I'm just like you. Can't take both ends.

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    1. Thanks for the kind words! Have just been reading about your boss!

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  35. For what it's worth, I agree - you're not in a clique at all. I definitely see you as clique-less but that's not a bad thing. I actively ignore and unfollow people that are too cliquey, too many in-jokes and slaps on the back. Keep doing what you're doing. I'll still talk to you :p

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    1. I consider being cliqueless a good thing - I don't want to be associated with cliques but I also don't like being left out - unfortunately, I feel left out often but I guess that's my problem and I'm trying to sort it. And thank you for talking to me; we have some nice conversations on social media x

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    2. I agree that being cliqueless can leave you feeling on the outside, which is why I don't go to any blogging events now x

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  36. I've been around Internet forums et al since the days of Compuserve, and in the old days most people were polite and net etiquette was par for the course, and blogging was fun. With the coming of the newer social media platforms of Facebook, Google +, net etiquette began to fall by the wayside, and when Facebook suddenly became a writer domain writer cabals, cliques and writing associations hit the airwaves in their droves: hundreds of big fish in little ponds and faithful in-crowds. Writers, it seems, are the worst for falling down on manners and some are just borne groupies!!! ;) Do what makes you happy, and it seems to me you've built up a following that suits you. Believe it, writer conferences are not all they're cracked up to be: as Paula pointed out. Some of the Facebook writer groups leave a lot to be desired, too. With as many comments as you've received, you're doing better than most!! Be proud of that fact... ;) best, F

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    1. I couldn't agree more, Francine, and this is a great comment. I know a huge amount of writers now, mainly though Twitter, and a lot of them I wouldn't want to meet in a million years!

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  37. Cliques have always been around, though I try to avoid them. I am my own person and I believe you are too.
    Don't worry about these things.... they really aren't important.
    Maggie x

    Nuts in May

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    1. I'm quite a sensitive soul and often take these cliques personally, though I do try to shrug them off.

      You're right, they're not important, but this subject has raised a fabulous debate and is obviously something people like to discuss.

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  38. Sorry Kathryn, only just saw this post. Yep, there are cliques and yep, some bloggers think they're more important than others (for some reason). I tend to ignore them and leave them to their own self-indulgent little world. Can't be artichoked trying to interact with them.

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    1. So right, Jean; I've yet to work out the reason why some bloggers deem themselves more important than others - beats me!

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  39. There's no doubt the writing world is clique-y and competitive, but you just have to march on in your own way. Maybe women are clique-y by nature? I don't think you'll ever change it!
    Jen

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    1. I think you're absolutely right there, Jen. Women are quite cliquely, I think one only needs to stand at the school gate for that evidence. The dads would talk to anyone whilst most mums would huddle together in little groups, whispering. I saw it go on at a school Amy used to attend and I imagine it hasn't changed.

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